You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize