can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
