Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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