i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
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