dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My breasts were aching with rage.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
