her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
