Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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