I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
