Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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