I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
