I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she smelled like a LAN party
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just invented taco cereal.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
