Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize