hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Randomize
