i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize