What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
