There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
A+ Viking dick
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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