My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
