It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
