let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
