Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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