she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
