you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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