no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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