I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize