how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
