I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
