My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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