We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
