You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
