so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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