Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
only you would photoshop your dick
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
