Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
handjob tips. give me some.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
