its not stalking. its research.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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