everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
