New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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