I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
