his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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