Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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