Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just cut my nipple shaving
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
