Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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