K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
