I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize