She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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