do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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