found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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