You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
