girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
