mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
