We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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