I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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