Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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