this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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