they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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