I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
