i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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