are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
