And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
