I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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