I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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